I don’t like Ricky Ponting. I don’t like him to the extent that when we made eye contact, as he walked down the Kotla-steps, I gave him the royal thumbs down. Now I’m no Caesar, but then Ricky was no gladiator either. Also when he spoke at Mohali, I roared, “Get Symonds!” The Aussie missed a beat and the Indians glared at me.
Once upon a time I liked Ponting. When it was more about his cricket than his Machiavellian ways. That was when Cyrus Barocha called him the world’s best batsman on a cricket show. It sounded right, right that an Indian said it, and said it on an Indian show. He was the best batsman, needed to be said, not just in pulp, but on air.
And then stuff other than cricket happened. Ponting became the most despised cricketer in India. His zeroes were Diwali, his failures Dusherra. If only each time he walked back, dismissed, some ruffians could do a Holi routine on him.
Ironical, but as always, even in such times, Ponting continued to evoke – first it was his cricket, now the cricketer, if you can call him that. But what was odd, how his batting brought no joy – it’s not as if he wasn’t scoring runs, I just couldn’t care less.
All of a sudden I see Ricky Ponting swivel, cricket dance, cricket trance - moves in line with the ball, the ball aligns with his world - and in that one pull shot off Chris Broad, a million camera angles come into play (like they did for Sachin in that adidas ad). Only here, Ponting manipulates the telecast and the viewer – but then, hasn’t he always? With the repeat replays, he makes you grip bat and play shot. And it has nothing to do with Broad, or the six 6s every Indian hit him for with Yuvraj –it is one boundary, four runs, in the vast canvas of a five day game. One that will go largely unnoticed, forgotten in an Ashes’ archive.
But it will stay with me. In a small, warped way it is Ricky’s redemption - a sign that he can get back to playing sport, not just playing games.
Which is when he aligns a somewhat neutral fan like me – what will it take for Ponting to take England on, singlehandedly – to beat them into the Welsh earth, and make them forget their English roots. It is such ruthless domination that you demand of the best – and when they fail to deliver, the distractions take over.
It’s time Ponting realised that even before an administrator, communicator, he is a batsman. And a darn good one at that.
Want to be abused by cricket - here's the 'fuck you hundred!'
July 10, 2009
Freddie, Yuvi, Roy, Boom Boom and the cool maan.
‘Ricky
is from Tasmania
But it’s tricky
for those who’re from Talisman-ia’
“Freddie is their talisman”. Through the Ashes, through the English summers, through every game that Freddie plays, you’re bound to hear, that cockney sparkle in Bumble’s voice announce, “make no mistake… Freddie is England’s talisman” It’s as if the word talisman was made to coexist with Freddie’s exploits. It didn’t matter how much or how little he did, he was Freddie Flintoff, he was England’s talisman – “and any ball now, any ball now, England could be released”
If Freddie is doing too little, or indisposed, that is easily explained by injury or lack of support from the other end – the price Freddie pays for being leader of the pack and being bowled into the ground or falling off the ship.
The closest to Freddie in the Indian ranks is Yuvi. Listen, how similar they sound – Freddie, Yuvi. And how both have similarly underachieved, yet in our heart’s eye, they’re simply the best. They can change the cricket world on its axis, and a game, with a glare. They aren’t entirely about cricket, nor can they be – their appeal is beyond sport, and for them, we are always game. We can't get enough of them – nor can the billboards or the bimbos. They are the quintessential star players.
Across the border, the closest such star that defies logic is Afridi. He has his own jingle – Boom Boom Afridi! It’s part of every Paki banner to every com box in every land that Boom Boom does or doesn’t do his Boom Boom in.
Another fascinating similarity between these players is how we accept them, almost in spite of themselves – “all is forgiven, come home Yuvi” Slack fitness, repeat injuries and offences are easily overlooked, rock star ways are wantonly indulged. It could have been Mick Jagger and not Freddie, and we wouldn’t have known the difference.
In the Windies, their super boy talisman is captain, Gayle. The yellow shades, the Rastafari swagger, every match is a T20 and I will bowl-a-few approach.
Australia had Symonds, and then Symonds had Australia, and then they both had enough – but teams like Pakistan, India, England, and even the Windies continue to challenge themselves.
Is it because these players do not just determine the outcome of a game, they dictate the very commerce of cricket.
Mildfred: What’re you rebelling against, Johnny?”
Johnny: Whaddya got?
They are the Johnnies, the wild ones, the rebels – and it doesn’t matter if they win a game, score a run, or run through the batting, the fact that they’re playing means anything can happen.
It’s as much their frailties as their super achieving powers that make them. We accept them not just because of what they do, but because of what they could have done.
We lost a game but had Yuvi fired we would have surely won. It is always within Freddie’s grasp. And like you saw, if Afridi gets firing you win the World Cup.
These guys do it on their own. With them it ceases to be a team sport. It is a one man show. And that’s what the movies are about. And that’s where we love to live. Because reality bites.
This piece started with this
is from Tasmania
But it’s tricky
for those who’re from Talisman-ia’
“Freddie is their talisman”. Through the Ashes, through the English summers, through every game that Freddie plays, you’re bound to hear, that cockney sparkle in Bumble’s voice announce, “make no mistake… Freddie is England’s talisman” It’s as if the word talisman was made to coexist with Freddie’s exploits. It didn’t matter how much or how little he did, he was Freddie Flintoff, he was England’s talisman – “and any ball now, any ball now, England could be released”
If Freddie is doing too little, or indisposed, that is easily explained by injury or lack of support from the other end – the price Freddie pays for being leader of the pack and being bowled into the ground or falling off the ship.
The closest to Freddie in the Indian ranks is Yuvi. Listen, how similar they sound – Freddie, Yuvi. And how both have similarly underachieved, yet in our heart’s eye, they’re simply the best. They can change the cricket world on its axis, and a game, with a glare. They aren’t entirely about cricket, nor can they be – their appeal is beyond sport, and for them, we are always game. We can't get enough of them – nor can the billboards or the bimbos. They are the quintessential star players.
Across the border, the closest such star that defies logic is Afridi. He has his own jingle – Boom Boom Afridi! It’s part of every Paki banner to every com box in every land that Boom Boom does or doesn’t do his Boom Boom in.
Another fascinating similarity between these players is how we accept them, almost in spite of themselves – “all is forgiven, come home Yuvi” Slack fitness, repeat injuries and offences are easily overlooked, rock star ways are wantonly indulged. It could have been Mick Jagger and not Freddie, and we wouldn’t have known the difference.
In the Windies, their super boy talisman is captain, Gayle. The yellow shades, the Rastafari swagger, every match is a T20 and I will bowl-a-few approach.
Australia had Symonds, and then Symonds had Australia, and then they both had enough – but teams like Pakistan, India, England, and even the Windies continue to challenge themselves.
Is it because these players do not just determine the outcome of a game, they dictate the very commerce of cricket.
Mildfred: What’re you rebelling against, Johnny?”
Johnny: Whaddya got?
They are the Johnnies, the wild ones, the rebels – and it doesn’t matter if they win a game, score a run, or run through the batting, the fact that they’re playing means anything can happen.
It’s as much their frailties as their super achieving powers that make them. We accept them not just because of what they do, but because of what they could have done.
We lost a game but had Yuvi fired we would have surely won. It is always within Freddie’s grasp. And like you saw, if Afridi gets firing you win the World Cup.
These guys do it on their own. With them it ceases to be a team sport. It is a one man show. And that’s what the movies are about. And that’s where we love to live. Because reality bites.
This piece started with this
July 09, 2009
July 04, 2009
The World will forget your name, Dinesh Karthik.
Face it Karthik there’s not much to remember about you. You are not up against your keeping or your batting, you are up against MS Dhoni’s aura. If it was just his keeping or his batting that you had to beat, you stood a chance – but now, it’s goddamn tough. Not impossible, but like scaling a cricketing Everest.
It’s not as if you’ve got nothing going your way. You had a cracking IPL, scored runs in T20 primetime – limited over cricket is the key here. Even though you were a low profile player in a low profile team, you scored – playing some incredible pulls and cuts too. And yeah, you can use your feet and your mind too. Nobody can take that away from you. If I recall, your keeping wasn’t any worse than MSD’s. You were ok. More a team player with the Delhi Daredevils than you ever looked with the Indian Angels.
Don’t know if it’s a curse or what, that Chappell placed his hand on your head, but you gotta live in the today. You’ve just landed two breaks out of nowhere. Sure the T20 World Cup didn’t land you a game, but this one-day series did. You are opening in a one-day game. You may never do so again. Ask Saurav and Sachin what it is to open in an ODI – it can make your career, it comes with half a dozen licenses – watchful, streaky, bullish, easy does it, let loose, go bonkers, chill, tank up on the runs. With each ODI innings comes one helluva chance to score a hundred – nowhere bowlers, everywhere runs, lick the gaps, kid.
And then you got that incredible thing going your way – form. Why is it so hard to fathom – are you in the form of somebody else’s life? Take a deep breath, do some yoga kid. Don’t do a Dilshan. Even Dilshan looks like a dodo when he tries the Dilscoop one too many times. Good for you, it came off once, went for six. It didn’t second time, you look like an adolescent. You should know how matured MSD is, he would never play a shot like that. Maturity is the new mantra in Indian cricket. Who do you want to be Karthik?
The kid who scored a 60 odd when he could get even with a 100? Nobody forgets 100s, ask your Dilli skipper, he told that to Akash Chopra once. Chopra hasn’t forgotten, don’t think he ever will. Ok, so a failure in between, and then you’re back in biz 3rd ODI. Be wary of Gambhir, he still thinks he’s running with Sehwag. That’s how it works for him.
Figure what works for you – it’s incredible you scored 47(43) with some of the hara-kiri between the wickets. Again, nobody will remember this 47, because Boss scored 46(35) and won the game.
Worse for you, Boss gotta face-saving 95 when you made only 4. Looks like he got the man-of-the-series award too. What you got, kid?
It’s not as if you’ve got nothing going your way. You had a cracking IPL, scored runs in T20 primetime – limited over cricket is the key here. Even though you were a low profile player in a low profile team, you scored – playing some incredible pulls and cuts too. And yeah, you can use your feet and your mind too. Nobody can take that away from you. If I recall, your keeping wasn’t any worse than MSD’s. You were ok. More a team player with the Delhi Daredevils than you ever looked with the Indian Angels.
Don’t know if it’s a curse or what, that Chappell placed his hand on your head, but you gotta live in the today. You’ve just landed two breaks out of nowhere. Sure the T20 World Cup didn’t land you a game, but this one-day series did. You are opening in a one-day game. You may never do so again. Ask Saurav and Sachin what it is to open in an ODI – it can make your career, it comes with half a dozen licenses – watchful, streaky, bullish, easy does it, let loose, go bonkers, chill, tank up on the runs. With each ODI innings comes one helluva chance to score a hundred – nowhere bowlers, everywhere runs, lick the gaps, kid.
And then you got that incredible thing going your way – form. Why is it so hard to fathom – are you in the form of somebody else’s life? Take a deep breath, do some yoga kid. Don’t do a Dilshan. Even Dilshan looks like a dodo when he tries the Dilscoop one too many times. Good for you, it came off once, went for six. It didn’t second time, you look like an adolescent. You should know how matured MSD is, he would never play a shot like that. Maturity is the new mantra in Indian cricket. Who do you want to be Karthik?
The kid who scored a 60 odd when he could get even with a 100? Nobody forgets 100s, ask your Dilli skipper, he told that to Akash Chopra once. Chopra hasn’t forgotten, don’t think he ever will. Ok, so a failure in between, and then you’re back in biz 3rd ODI. Be wary of Gambhir, he still thinks he’s running with Sehwag. That’s how it works for him.
Figure what works for you – it’s incredible you scored 47(43) with some of the hara-kiri between the wickets. Again, nobody will remember this 47, because Boss scored 46(35) and won the game.
Worse for you, Boss gotta face-saving 95 when you made only 4. Looks like he got the man-of-the-series award too. What you got, kid?
June 30, 2009
Two teams at sea.
One keeps losing
the other keeps from winning
Two loser teams
East and West
the twain have met
Let's have a series
we all regret.
No, there isn't much to read or write on this series. Then again you can wade across to Bored at Sea. Be well worth the swim. Even if the series isn't.
the other keeps from winning
Two loser teams
East and West
the twain have met
Let's have a series
we all regret.
No, there isn't much to read or write on this series. Then again you can wade across to Bored at Sea. Be well worth the swim. Even if the series isn't.
June 21, 2009
LET'S TWIST AGAIN!
According to reports coming in
The Indian team was deeply hurt after their defeat
In the twenty20 World Cup
What the Indian team didn’t tell you and me was
They were deeply hurt before their defeat
In the twenty20 World Cup
This might sound repetitive
But then so is the deep hurt
Of the Indian team
C’mon let’s twist again!!
Let’s twist that right calf!
Let’s twist again!
Let’s tear that right calf!
Let’s twist again!
Let’s tear that left shoulder
Let’s twist again!
Let’s tear that right shoulder!
Let’s twist again!
Let’s stress that lower back
Let’s twist again!
Let’s tear that knee ligament!
Let’s twist again!
HARDCORE
It's been a while since I read SledgeHammer's post, 'Redemption and Defiance' at Bored Cricket Crazy Indians, and if you haven't already, go get it. A life comes with it. And you realise, yet again, there is something about cricket, and India and Pakistan and Sri Lanka and the times we live in. And I don't know what it is. And that's what makes it. Some feelings are just not worth spelling out.
June 17, 2009
Bastard son of the sport
There’s silence enough for you to spare a thought
To think about why you didn’t give it all you got
That and this and why some stuff happens
Why you stop playing the game
Why you stop living the game
Why you stop
Now the kits are packed
And only a stray bat lies on the side
And it belongs to a guy you never played
Who flew all the way, but you never played
Once upon a time, it was about signs
And not even you knew what would be next
That was the instinct to win
That was the instinct to win
It just crept up on you
And you got the credit
You was gifted
Like some son of the sport
Like some son of the sport
But you never knew how it came
Came to you in a flash
You were honest to the Gods
You were honest to the Gods
Your ads were funny
Your hair was cool
You were on a motorcycle
And you went back in school
But it all changes fast
Like Cat Stevens to Yusuf Islam
People find a new belief
You are no longer the chosen one
You are no longer the chosen one
Your ads are not that funny
You sell too much airtime
You hair is short
You’re on a motorcycle
But you’ve taken us for a ride
How did it go away
Go away in a flash
You're not that gifted anymore
You’re like some bastard son of the sport
You’re like some bastard son of the sport
To think about why you didn’t give it all you got
That and this and why some stuff happens
Why you stop playing the game
Why you stop living the game
Why you stop
Now the kits are packed
And only a stray bat lies on the side
And it belongs to a guy you never played
Who flew all the way, but you never played
Once upon a time, it was about signs
And not even you knew what would be next
That was the instinct to win
That was the instinct to win
It just crept up on you
And you got the credit
You was gifted
Like some son of the sport
Like some son of the sport
But you never knew how it came
Came to you in a flash
You were honest to the Gods
You were honest to the Gods
Your ads were funny
Your hair was cool
You were on a motorcycle
And you went back in school
But it all changes fast
Like Cat Stevens to Yusuf Islam
People find a new belief
You are no longer the chosen one
You are no longer the chosen one
Your ads are not that funny
You sell too much airtime
You hair is short
You’re on a motorcycle
But you’ve taken us for a ride
How did it go away
Go away in a flash
You're not that gifted anymore
You’re like some bastard son of the sport
You’re like some bastard son of the sport
June 16, 2009
Look at the bright side, boys
In spite of being Englanded, India hasn’t done half as bad as you think. For matters as trivial as these here’s a quick check-list
1) India will play only two less games than the Champions, and one less than the semi-finalists
2) By losing in the Super-8s, you, an irrational fan do not suffer the heartache of losing in the semis or the finals
3) Finally Kirsten and his wards earn that much needed rest after the IPL
4) As MS Dhoni said, it’s not as bad as the 2007 World Cup defeat or something to that effect
5) Gives India enough time to plot its revenge on the West Indies, that too, in the Windies
6) This revenge will be sweeter, they are one-dayers – so for every win we will inflict more than twice the pain – 50 overs X 2 as opposed to the pain of a 20 overs X 2 defeat
7) Sachin Tendulkar will be back for mid-wicket discussions, and at times, even mid-pitch discussions. If India needs a player to deliver, Sachin can play mid-wife
8) Didn’t you hear me, Sachin Tendulkar will be back, what else do you want, moron?
9) And yes, India play for pride against South Africa
10) India in such do-or-don’t-do games remind you of how good they really are, and you will forget just how bad they are in do-or-die games.
11) They did win 2007, and you are more than 2 years’ old, you have a memory of that match, right – we did beat Pakistan then, right?
12) We beat Pakistan in the mother and father of all warm-up matches. Frankly nothing matches up after that
13) India extracted revenge, first for itself, then for Pakitsan, by beating both Bangladesh and Ireland in one single swoop. Appears they beat Holland, Surinam and other minnows too, but they had to disappear
Now you can say Bye Bye to India here!
1) India will play only two less games than the Champions, and one less than the semi-finalists
2) By losing in the Super-8s, you, an irrational fan do not suffer the heartache of losing in the semis or the finals
3) Finally Kirsten and his wards earn that much needed rest after the IPL
4) As MS Dhoni said, it’s not as bad as the 2007 World Cup defeat or something to that effect
5) Gives India enough time to plot its revenge on the West Indies, that too, in the Windies
6) This revenge will be sweeter, they are one-dayers – so for every win we will inflict more than twice the pain – 50 overs X 2 as opposed to the pain of a 20 overs X 2 defeat
7) Sachin Tendulkar will be back for mid-wicket discussions, and at times, even mid-pitch discussions. If India needs a player to deliver, Sachin can play mid-wife
8) Didn’t you hear me, Sachin Tendulkar will be back, what else do you want, moron?
9) And yes, India play for pride against South Africa
10) India in such do-or-don’t-do games remind you of how good they really are, and you will forget just how bad they are in do-or-die games.
11) They did win 2007, and you are more than 2 years’ old, you have a memory of that match, right – we did beat Pakistan then, right?
12) We beat Pakistan in the mother and father of all warm-up matches. Frankly nothing matches up after that
13) India extracted revenge, first for itself, then for Pakitsan, by beating both Bangladesh and Ireland in one single swoop. Appears they beat Holland, Surinam and other minnows too, but they had to disappear
Now you can say Bye Bye to India here!
June 15, 2009
Men in Blue Chip
What Do You Get From Investing In Indian Cricket?
Laughing Stock Options.
Enjoy the Bye Bye T20 WC series at Bored Cricket Crazy Indians. Because it's worth it.
Laughing Stock Options.
Enjoy the Bye Bye T20 WC series at Bored Cricket Crazy Indians. Because it's worth it.
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