A third rate captain.

I have watched Mohammad Yousuf closely, last time round in Delhi, he fielded under my nose. At third man. Third man is MoYo’s favourite place in the whole world. It is here that he’s one with himself, far from the madding crowds of team bonhomie, backslapping, hair ruffling, feelings, feeling.

When a wicket fell, no less than an Indian wicket that, after the mercurial Shoaib Akhtar ran a mile to bowl, MoYo didn’t budge an inch, forget drag his heals a few metres to the middle.

Instead he turned on his heal, turned his back to the boys, got lost in some future ICL thoughts.

Now MoYo is to be captain for a full test series. Never mind he says – I will captain from third man. This way, I don’t need to hurl annoying instructions that captains…he stops mid sentence, sensing an effort .

From third man there will be no such problems. Bowlers will bowl, appeal, change ends. Yes, that’s another thing, no appealing either. “I will not raise a finger, not in appeal, not at anyone, I want peace”

And what about the change of ends after every over – surely MoYo will not walk a few paces to mid on - that would be much too close to his teammates or cross over to the other side again (just to be in his safe house, third man)

MoYo languidly strokes his beard, and replies somewhat sternly, “I cannot afford to remain there and have a long on…I am not a defensive captain...I plan to go off the field every alternate over and give some youngster an opportunity to play for Pakistan”

On Bored: Vettori to captain Pakistan

The third man

Sachin plays as he pleases, Saurav’s retired, and Rahul plays Ranji.

As I check the Ranji scores, many cricket worlds emerge – there’s clarity, beyond bias, more like a future truth, who will be the last man standing?

Good for Dravid, every now and then his sense of humour returns: asked about the dilapidated Delhi team that Karnataka plays, he reminds you of the Aussies.

There’s a test coming, it’s Rahul vs Sachin again.

Sketchy

Chatting with cartoonist cum Bored Member A Bisht compelled me to sketch again - good timing, the Indian teams' form has been sketchy off late. Between plumbers and masons, this leaked on to my page.

Aamer is actually seventeen.

Unlike Boom Boom Afridi who isn’t seventeen. Boom Boom plays like he’s seventeen, Aamer on the other hand, plays with the concern of an older man, someone MoYo’s age – MoYo of course didn’t play today.

When the chase was on in earnest, the importance wasn’t lost on the Pak players.

They were frozen in time – approx the time they lost it personally.

However MoYo looked miffed as he played with his beard. Word is the ICL will call him later tonight. Of course he won’t get a game there either.

But these are trivial pursuits, young Aamer, who goes by two names, one on his jersey, the other on the TV, was so cool, he deserves to break more records – I recommend he bat even lower than 10, and break the highest score by a No. 11 batsman.

Also thanks Aamer, from India, for helping us remember one Douglas Marillier, who until today had a world record to his name.

The record’s gone but the memories fresh. And if it isn’t, what do you think they made scorecards for?

Boom Boom

BOOM BOOM - JOHN LEE HOOKER IN THE BLUES BROTHERS

At a music store, Boom Boom caught my eye for obvious reasons. Enough said, shut up and listen.

Still hung up on Sachin's 175

If you are, then go have a look at what a 175 by Yuvraj, Jatman, MSD and Bhajji will be like.

By how many runs did we lose?

Evening, a dimly lit street in Hauz Khas, Delhi. I walk past P2 or P3 when Innocent appears from the dark and asks Guard:

I: Match may kya hua?

G: Har gaye

I: Kitne run se hare?

G: Run se nahin, 6 wicket se

I: Run se nahin hare?

I walked back again, and dubbed in English

I: Who won the match?

G: We lost

I: By how many runs did we lose?

G: Not runs, they won by 6 wickets

I: We didn’t lose by runs?

I’ve replayed the scene in my head a few times. In hindsight I could have waited for the rest of their chat, but what the hell.

Innocent has a point though, we should have lost by runs. Even he couldn't believe we batted first @8.30 am. Indians are late starters after all.

The effects of a ton by Tendulkar.

If you played yesterday, chances are you hit the ball further. But first, you would have wanted to play yesterday – to feel your back ache, your legs throb, your hands grip the bat, an adidas bat.

There have been far too many ace one day innings, those that change tides, set up wins, win games. How many do you remember? And why will you not forget Sachin’s 175?

The trappings went beyond cricket. There was a landscape of a cricketer’s life entwined with our warped mindscape, how we defined the kid and now the grandfather, the pot shots, the hot shots over the last twenty, everything Sachin, all put into the mixi with us, shaken, stirred, served.

We were part of the serving. You cannot help but feel for yourself. Sachin’s 175 was as much about him as it was us – and in it, for some reason, I hear Roger Water’s sing Watching TV

She's everybody's sister
She's a symbolic of our failure
She's the one in fifty million
Who can help us to be free
Because she died on TV
And I grieve for my sister

If you think some, maybe you hear a song, a scene, a bit of life that moves you.

Yeah, that’s what it was, a very intimate innings. Signed like Cohen would in one of his songs, sincerely L Cohen.

It was a romance but a tragic one at that. And you know, there are no better ones than that.

Thank You Sachin.



On Bored: Aftershock

A mad dog of a post.

It was Bored Member Scorpicity’s Bored Day on the 5th. Since then he’s been born again, and barked this beautiful post. It is possibly the only scientific explanation to Sachin Tendulkar’s matchless innings at Hyderabad. Not just bow, wow too.

Side effects of too much cricket.

Sport psychologists call it the Oslo Syndrome – long after a seven match series takes players' hostage, they crave to relive the lows, injuries, defeats, humiliations. And even though many Aussie cricketers have returned home, the next few weeks could see them sleep walk to an imaginary Feroz Shah Kotla.

No laughing matter, psychologists suspect fans, journalists, even bloggers can fall prey to this vicious syndrome. It’s finally down to how many overs we watch – over 500 overs puts us in the same risky-category as key players, MS Dhoni and Ricky Ponting while 250 overs reduces our risk to a benched Amit Mishra or Munaf Patel.

However, if we stay clear of the cricket, our risk will be the same as the administrators.


Side effects of the Oslo Syndrome: A calm MS Dhoni loses it with a rookie bowler in the nets at the Kotla. You can watch the video on Bored.